Six Days

Oh, look, it's my cute little family.

It’s a strange feeling knowing that in six days I will no longer see my sister’s face every morning, no longer will I laugh with my dad or gush about Outlander with my mom. I won’t have to stop my dog from licking the dishes in the dishwasher. In September I won’t walk into the hot, stale air of Morse High School or see my favorite pair of English teachers walking up the stairs every morning.

I’m not in denial about leaving, and I don’t want to stay here. I want to leave and get out of the small town I’ve lived in my entire life, but I have no idea what is in store for me over the next few years. Yes, I know where I will be living, what classes I will be taking and who I will be living with. However, there’s still an uncertainty clouding my excitement. I’ve never lived without my parents, and it’s honestly a little frightening to think about not having them there to guide me. Thankfully we live in a time of technology, so it will not be difficult to stay in touch. But, it won’t be nearly the same as having them with me.

Awwwwwww

Each day brings us closer to the day my family and I will part ways, and each day tensions rise. I didn't think that my family would succumb to the stereotype of the bickering family about to send a child off to college. For most of the summer, we were doing just fine. I worked forty hour weeks all July, and every night Sarah and I had three hour long rehearsals for The Addams Family Musical. There just wasn’t any time for us to fight. Now, however, there seems to be conflict over the smallest things: where we sit watching Harry Potter, whether or not a book is good, what we should have for dinner, and other incredibly mundane things. There was a particularly amusing argument on Sunday between my mother and me.

I'm going to miss this face.

I had recommended a book series to her the week before, and she said she just could not get into it because the characters were in their late teens and just couldn’t relate. I made a snarky, unnecessary comment about her age, and we just started really going at it. I don’t even remember what was said, just that one moment we were furious at each other, and the next we were sobbing and apologizing and forgiving in each other’s arms. We were laughing, we were crying, we were scaring my father with our incredibly striking change in emotions. I think that event perfectly sums up how this last week at home is affecting us.

My parents are relationship goals

Some say that we fight to make leaving each other easier, but I don’t think that’s why I've been bickering with my family. No matter how angry we get with each other, no matter how hurtful our words may be, I know that we are fighting because it reminds us that we’re all still here. Still living together, if only for six more days. Nothing is going to make leaving any easier, especially not fighting. We may fight a little more than usual this week, but we are also talking more, laughing more, and just being with each other more. I find myself staring at Sarah, trying to memorize how her face lights up when she smiles; listening to my parents so I can imagine their voices giving me advice when I feel overwhelmed. I may not be completely ready to say goodbye, but I don’t know how anyone can prepare for leaving the people they love most. All I can do is spend time with them and let them know how much I love them. Leaving my family is a part of growing up, and I’m ready to grow up.